tragic experience he is enough

 Today while driving home from work I found my mind taken back to a tragic experience when I was just 13 years old. Before I realized it the memories had unwound like an old broken cassette tape. Anxiety washed over me and I was overwhelmed with grief for that young girl.

In the midst of this a worship song came on the radio and I found myself singing as tears welled up and fell down my face. Tears that don’t come easily or often for me.
I was reminded in that moment that He too remembers. He too wept with me then and He weeps with me now. I felt the Holy space of shared experience, of being together, then and now.
As I sang I offered my broken heart to Jesus as a love song to Him and also for me. We have this sacred bond together, this knowing of every good and every bad that has ever crossed our path.
I sensed a deep knowing of His presence with me.
I use to often wonder how He could have allowed this awful experience if He was such a loving God. For the most part I have come to accept and have peace in knowing He never promised us to be without heartache or tragedy. He promises to be with us. He offers His love to us. He brings hope that can rise from the ashes.
That for the most part has become enough for me, but even when it’s not He understands that too.
In the depths of our souls where brokenness lies in jagged pieces He too is there. He knows.
Sometimes all we can offer Him is a broken heart, and when we are able we can whisper a quiet broken hallelujah for who He is and was. He will take either.
All that matters to Him is to know and have our hearts and for us to know and have His.
To anyone who knows what this specific brokenness feels like my heart is with you and you are not alone. He hears you, He knows the cry of your heart, then and now and He longs to fill it.
You may wonder why I would share such a personal intimate dark experience on Facebook. I believe
by bringing darkness to light, by exposing it the light can overcome it and set us free. I also feel that satan wants us to keep things hidden so it doesn’t come into the light and receive healing. I want people to know they aren’t the only one and they aren’t alone.
If you find yourself needing someone to listen and hear you… please message me. I will listen and feel with you. You are not alone.
PS I’ve had a couple people ask if they could share it.. by all means share If it can help even one it’s for His glory