I started the day anxious, and once I decided at about 9am that I was ok and the day would be fine.. the kids and I had a great day!
Yesterday and today I started my day around 7:30am with Abby hollering "MOMMY" I go in and I can smell it already, John-Marc both days had um not fun runny poopy up to his chest, down his legs, and on his bed, as well as having thrown up in his bed. Oh my! I had both babies in the tub both days by 7:45am. Ack that's not a normal snow day! Ha. He acted fine and didn't get sick the rest of the day so I'm really hoping this has passed and he won't wake up sick again. No fun!!
Today I ended up gaining energy throughout the day... made banana bread with Sarah, Abby and John-Marc, did 4 loads of laundry, and got an hour and a half nap and I slept hard! YAY. Then I got up helped Marc make Homemade Chicken Cheese Potato soup, we ate and then I cleaned like crasy! I did dishes, cleaned all the kitchen counters off (decluttered and wiped down), shined the sink, folded 3 loads of laundry and put them away, cleaned up the living room and play room.. and that was all from 6-7:30pm! Just rocked the babies, put the girls and babies down. (Marc did the big boys tonight).
I have so much energy.. Marc said "You're like in cleaning mode tonight". I didn't think anything of it... finished putting laundry away and said to Marc "I wonder why I have so much energy all the sudden". He said "Honey you're Bipolar!" OH WOW I totally didn't realize I was manic tonight. Had no idea! I had noticed my mood had really changed today. I said "so I'm on a high?" and he said "yes honey you are". WOW so my response to that is "so not all mania highs are bad!". Ha! He said "yes, when you aren't off shopping".
I won't go shopping. I just won't. Not without Marc, not without a need that I'm specifically shopping for. Right now I'm perfectly happy to do all my grocery shopping at Kroger's. It's much safer than walmart for me. I don't have other things to look at and too many decisions to make. I can get everything I need there and though it may be a touch more expensive than walmart overall, not for us! ;o) It's best for me right now. I'm praying that Jesus teaches me to let HIM fill me instead of doing other things, especially when I'm high or low.
I'm hoping this carries over into tomorrow and I get some more much needed cleaning done! I'm also hoping I can still sleep good tonight. I do so much better with good sleep. I have been sleeping better every night. I'm so thankful for that.
I do seem to have these highs every month when I'm PMS'ing then I tend to go low afterwards... I'm praying that I don't go low this month though, with the new meds and all. Sometimes I can hope or wish I feel a certain way though and with this bipolar thing I realize I really have NO control over my feelings. I'm working at doing what I can though to take care of myself and do my part at being healthy, (physically, spiritually, mentally)
for me, and for my precious family. I'm thankful for God's strength and His love for me. I'm seeing His love so much lately. Some days I feel alone and like I don't even understand myself, let alone my friends/family.. and He's really been close to me and reminding me He DOES know me. That's comforting.