One of the hardest things when I am depressed and low is that I feel like I can't and don't want to do anything around the house. The laundry that's already behind gets crazy, the clutter on counters build, and things like cooking dinner, doing laundry and keeping things picked up as well as really cleaning the rooms vacuuming and scrubbing bathrooms etc.
So this is one of the places in my life that I've not done a good job off. My ADD doesn't help at all either because I'm constantly getting distracted and move from one thing to the next not finishing any of them. And when there's a lot to do I look around and get VERY overwhelmed and feel paralyzed to do anything, so I give up before I start.
I did feel today that even though I was down and didn't feel like doing stuff... once I actually got up and accomplished something I felt better.
I'm wanting to learn to just push through the depression and allow myself to have maturity and perseverance to do what needs done.
Today I cleaned out our fridgerator and freezer... moved anything good downstairs to the backup fridge so that tomorrow morning when our new fridgerator arrives everything will be ready. Thanks James and Nate who came and helped Marc carry out the old one.
I did a load of extra dishes from the containers in the fridge that were old. (I need to get better about using leftovers up). I along with Isaiah's help did several loads of laundry. Also while multitasking gave Abby and John-Marc their bath.
Then came cooking dinner (which Marc and I did together). Cleanup.. and while My mom was over for dinner and she did bedtime routine (reading books and bible, and tucking in and praying) with the 2 oldest girls, then after that with Abby and the baby. Then she played battleship with the 2 big boys. That was helpful while Marc and I cleaned our room.
My dad is coming to visit this weekend and I was totally freaking out about my house today... got totally anxious but really asked for God's strength and I pushed through. Oh I also got several loads of clean laundry put away and folded.
The house keeping things totally freak me out, I feel like there is too much and I shut down.
Jesus please day by day with each thing that needs done help me to see them, be willing to do them, and not get so overwhelmed and distracted.
Off to bed.. it's 9pm and I had VERY little sleep last night. I called my dr. and he ordered a different sleep med. I hope it works... I get so messed up inside when I don't get sleep. Thankfully Marc didn't have to work today since most of his stops were closed from snow... so I did get around 3 hrs. sleep then (though I still slept poorly).
Hoping tonight is better. :O)
No comments:
Post a Comment