Wednesday, October 20, 2010

consistence is hard for me

I've realized over the last 6 months in a clearer way how hard it is for me to be consistent with anything. I get into something and then after a bit I forget or move on and something else seems important at the moment and I get off track. I don't like that about myself. I am asking God to help me become more consistent in the things that are important and to show me what those things should be.
Ha ha this blog is an example of my in consistence. I had blogged a bunch, quit when I was doing so well, have been wanting for a month to start blogging again but hadn't.... sigh.
I often get frustrated with myself for not being consistent... but Jesus reminded me tonight that one thing that I have been consistent in is my love for my Jesus. And then He also reminded me that He's the one who gets the glory for even that though. Apart from Him I can't even love Him well.
Reminds me of the verse in John 15...
“I am the vine, you are the branches. He who abides in Me, and I in him, bears much fruit; for without Me you can do nothing."
It's so easy for me to forget that I can't do a thing aside from Him...
I've been asking God to show me my sin and show me where I need His love and forgiveness.
I am realizing how deeply I sin when I "try to do it my way" or try to figure things out on my own. That is sin simple and true. I feel very convicted. This is often my struggle.. against myself to believe Him and let Him be who He wants to be in my life.
I was also reminded tonight when I was tucking my big boys in bed (10 and 11 yrs old) about worry and how it's a sin. We were talking about something (can't remember what) and the boys asked me why worrying is a sin and I quoted the verses that came to my mind in Philipians...
"Do not be anxious for anything, but in all things with prayer and supplication present your requests to God and the peace that passes all understanding will guard your heart in Christ Jesus."
Worrying is not trusting Jesus.
How quickly I forget that He is here, ready, longing to be my peace and my Saviour.
God have mercy. I praise Him that He does!

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