I'm amazed at how much my mood and emotions change from day to day. Yesterday was a hard day. I felt down and normal things felt overwhelming and hard. There wasn't anything specific that spurred it, I just felt sad and alone. It's hard to feel that people understand but I'm starting to surrender myself in my pain to Jesus and LET Him walk me through it instead of wishing someone would encourage me or understand. Jesus wants me to wrap myself up inside His arms and let Him wipe my tears. He's precious. I'm beginning to run TO Him instead of from Him when I'm weak. It's really hard though, my natural and habitual way is to run from everyone and everything when I'm struggling.
I've been reading a book by Dennis Kinlaw and in the first chapter He talks about Sin. He said Sin is simple when we turn to our self and try to do it on our own. WOW I'm there sinning in that way A LOT! I'm finding myself repenting and praying for wisdom and strength to let God do what He has willed and planned to do in and for me. I want to love Him enough to TRUST Him at His Word.
In the midst of pain and struggling through I hadn't really thought about how my trying to do things on my own is SIN. Wow.
He who began a good work in you is Faithful and He will do it.
Jesus is giving me so many scriptures that I had learned as a teen when I had Post-traumatic-stress from a trauma and reading my bible at night when I had severe insomnia. When I did sleep I had nightmares so reading the bible and claiming His promises was what kept me going at times.
It's been a precious comfort to hear God remind me of those verses now in a new and fresh way. Oh How He loves me. Oh how He loves me. He is so worthy of my heart.
Today I felt the joy of the Lord. And I felt His joy over me as I loved on my kids today.